Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Poverty autos
Buy a used Japanese or Korean car that gets 30 mpg and put a "Go Green" sticker on it. Everyone will think you're a highly evolved environmentalist instead of a poverty stricken shclub.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Who is the Poverty Guru?
I'm a guy who knows how to be poor. If you play your cards right, it's not that bad. It's a lot like being rich. You can sit around on your butt all day and do nothing -- only you're sitting under a bridge instead of by the pool at the country club.
Today's younger generation has no idea how to be poor. They grew up in a historic bubble of American prosperity that when it finally burst, exploded like an A-bomb.
They grew up thinking putting no money down on a $300,000 McMansion in the burbs and floating an adjustible-rate mortgage was just the way it's done. You see where that got us. In the future, you're going to have to save up for a down payment, and that's a bitch if you don't have a job. Tip: Find the crummiest apartment in a nice part of town and rent it.
They grew up thinking cable TV is not a luxury, but a god-given right. They didn't know it costs $200 a month to have all the movie channels, and that's before you order pay-per-view. Tip: Make friends with somebody who has cable and go over to their house to watch it.
They drink Sam Adams beer, imports, microbrews. Welcome to Milwaukee's Best, Generation X. It's not bad it you get it really cold.
They view a computer as a necessity, and the Internet as the only source of information out there. Tip: Learn to love the public library, one of a few socialistic entities that actually works.
There will be more in the coming weeks and days -- unless I get the power turned off when hyperinflation sets in -- and that's just around the corner, you betcha. Keep checking, and I'll keep offering invaluable advice on how to survive in style as we stumble though the coming years.
Today's younger generation has no idea how to be poor. They grew up in a historic bubble of American prosperity that when it finally burst, exploded like an A-bomb.
They grew up thinking putting no money down on a $300,000 McMansion in the burbs and floating an adjustible-rate mortgage was just the way it's done. You see where that got us. In the future, you're going to have to save up for a down payment, and that's a bitch if you don't have a job. Tip: Find the crummiest apartment in a nice part of town and rent it.
They grew up thinking cable TV is not a luxury, but a god-given right. They didn't know it costs $200 a month to have all the movie channels, and that's before you order pay-per-view. Tip: Make friends with somebody who has cable and go over to their house to watch it.
They drink Sam Adams beer, imports, microbrews. Welcome to Milwaukee's Best, Generation X. It's not bad it you get it really cold.
They view a computer as a necessity, and the Internet as the only source of information out there. Tip: Learn to love the public library, one of a few socialistic entities that actually works.
There will be more in the coming weeks and days -- unless I get the power turned off when hyperinflation sets in -- and that's just around the corner, you betcha. Keep checking, and I'll keep offering invaluable advice on how to survive in style as we stumble though the coming years.
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